Hello blog,
Sorry its been so long. Hrm so much has happened, where to start. Well I guess the biggest is that I broke up with Daddydom. It happened in early January a week before the big hotel party. I sort of knew it was going to happen. Before Christmas I was home alone and siting playing on the internet. I stumbled across Daddydoms blog. I knew that he kept a Tumblr and it has a smattering of pictures with Daddy girl things in it. I had assumed they were for me. Turns out no. They were for his now current sub. Whom he had been chatting with online for months with. See I kind of knew about her, he had told me a little and I asked if I should be threatened. He said no, that is was mostly for masturbation. Which is totally fine with me. But it turns out that no he was doing the Daddy/girl thing with her, and he never told me. I was devastated, I could not stop crying for days. It was nice that I had a couple days off because I would start sobbing for no real reason. I tried to convince myself it was an accident, that he would not really want to hurt me. When Christmas was over I texted him and said we needed to meet, that I had something important to tell him. He said "I figured we would." I cried. I met him at the restaurant and was shaking. I am very good at hiding it but I was hurt. I knew that this conversation was either the end or a serious change in who we were. We sat down, ordered food and I tried to calmly pour tea. I pulled myself together and turned to him. I asked if he broke up with me and didn't tell me. He just said, Yes. It was like someone actually hit me. He said that he didn't want to hurt me, that he still cared for me but he wanted to try monogamy with this girl. I still have this strange feeling he said that only because he was bored with me. That I somehow lost my ability to be right for him. He told me that he did not want to tell me till he met her. That without telling me he went out of the state to see her. He said he think he loves her. I was blown, but I smiled and ate my food. I nodded. I told him calmly that I was hurt. That it would be a while before I was ok. That I did not approve of him dating a 18 year old no matter how mature he though she was. That a 30 year difference is not that part that mattered it was her age. But that I was just really hurt. I have not talked to him since. I mean to. I want to. But I can't each time I think about it, I cry. I had to take down the cards I had in my room from him. I know it will get better someday. I am just not there yet.
