So a couple weeks ago I was doing a particularly intense scene/sex with my Daddydom. I was tied up, gagged, hit, caressed, fucked and kissed silly. It was wonderful and over the top awesome. At one point though he was talking dirty to me. Which I may say he does so well. But in the middle he threw me off. He told me that he had to this stuff, that he wanted to do this to me because he was competing for me. I was thrown and wanted to assure him that I was his, that he did not need too. That I would come back to him. My eyes must of gone wide as I took myself out of the scene to tell him this, while ball gagged. He then went on that I needed to realize that I deserve to be competed for. That I should know that I am worth it. That I am special and that he loves me. It made me want to cry. (Which I tend to do sometimes)
He then went on to do more dirty evil things to me. That I loved and came from.
Weeks later though I am still thinking on this. Part of me knows that yes I am awesome. I am a Win for someone out there. But there is still a very large part of me that is built on years of self esteem issues. That part tells me that I am hyping myself up. That I am not worth that.
I keep trying to kick that part of my mind in the face, we will see how that goes. Right now I feel wonderful, sexy, wanted and loved. Kiss for my Daddydom.
